Posts made in March, 2015

Blog #20: the Zygocaprid

Blog #20: the Zygocaprid

Working today on the proofs for my forthcoming, debut novel Natalya’s Tale… so here’s a lovely excerpt… enjoy!~   * * *   The next day dawned darkly, the sun never quite appearing; it did not seem as if it were merely overcast, however, so much as they seemed to have entered a mystical realm of eternal twilight.  World of Shadows, indeed, thought Natalya. As they continued on, Natalya began to feel a growing sense of foreboding—and she didn’t think it was merely the loom of dull, gray, twilight skies.  The day was still and uneventful, but she just felt… creepy!  As if dire and heinous happenchancery lay in wait.  Katara couldn’t explain it, and only offered the tidbit—via her antennae’d GPS—that they were in Wales.  This of course prompted Natalya’s query:  “Britain!?” and Katara’s response: “Wisconsin.” As evening once again settled in, and there had been no sign of Lars Landuc or any evidence of his passing this way, Natalya contemplated heading west again toward Denver. “Either way,” Katara pointed out, when Natalya made the suggestion, “we’re looking at spending the night here.  And, though I agree it’s a pretty sinister setting, at least there doesn’t seem to be anything sinister going on.” “I guess,” Natalya agreed, reluctantly.  “It’s kind of weird though, hey?  I mean, I don’t think I’ve seen so much as a squirrel or a bird—or anything—all day.” “Yeah, well, let’s hope the same is true for all night…” As if in response to her fervent hope for nocturnal placidity, there was the rustle of foliage just off the path ahead of them.  Both on guard for trouble, Natalya and Katara exchanged a wary glance, the former moving closer to the latter instinctively before remembering Katara was really only a butterfly. “I wish I had a weapon,” whispered Natalya.  “A sword or something, you know?  Don’t knights on quests have swords?” “Number one,” retorted Katara, “you’re not a knight.  And, number two, do you even know how to use a sword?” “Well… no.” “Then you’d probably impale yourself.” Further discussion was quelled as the rustling of foliage resumed—this time in the bushes behind them.  Was it going the other way, or were there more than one?!  They turned toward the sound just as it leaped onto the path to confront them. Natalya and Katara shrieked in unison, Natalya leaping into Katara’s arms—and passing entirely through...

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Blog #19: Basilio’s Revenge

Blog #19: Basilio’s Revenge

  “Know what’s really funny?” “Oh, well—no, I’m not sure.  How ‘bout… a carnivorous sheep eating a little Italian baby?” “……That’s right.”     #  #  #  #   —Mishka Zakharin  ©1987/2015    

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Blog #18: Beware the Nones of March

Blog #18:  Beware the Nones of March

Writing a blog should be easy, right?  (Ah-ha!  And/or Righting a blog should be easy—write!?  (Just skip that last bit…) ) Yu jut—             (HA!!) You just have to ask yourself:  what’s on my mind?             A glowing fungus?!  A small crawling animal!?  Rickets?!?  Phlegm!?! Just nevermind…   What exactly is (are) the ‘Nones’ of March? I mean, everyone knows what the ‘Ides’ of March is…             (I don’t think very many people know what the Ides of March—or of anything—is.  Many may know the phrase ‘Beware the Ides of March’… and some may know it is a line from Shakespeare and in reference to Julius Caesar—from the play and to the person… but I would be surprised if anyone I know (almost anyone) knows what the hell an Ides is.) But that’s not my fault.  If you care, look it up.             (HAA!!) Yeah, yeah, no… what the hell.   January and February—which did not exist in the original Roman calendar—do not have an Ides or a Nones or a Kalends… (‘Kalends’!?  What the hell is he bringing in more of this shit before he’s even explained the first two innocuous whatever the—) Instead, there were 51 days in the winter that were not part of any month, until Numa Pompilius—             (I know you want to say I just made that name up, because it certainly sounds like a name I would make up, and I would have liked to have made it up, but that was just the dude’s name!) —created January and February to account for the un-monthed days…  (I know—weird, right?!)  And he named them after his wife and mother-in-law, because they were the two coldest bitches he knew.  (I made that up.)  Butanyhoo… So before Numa came along, there were only ten actual months; the first four were named for deities, and then (for some reason) the rest were just numerical.  So July, before being renamed for Julius Caesar, was called Quintilis—and August, before being renamed for Caesar Augustus, was Sextilis… which was a month that, for the name, just absolutely nothing got done, because everyone was just busy having sex all the time… and (apparently) with Mel Tillis.  (Perhaps.) Thus, if you’ve ever wondered (and, frankly, even if you haven’t) why September, the 9th month, is named from the root for seven—or October (10th month/root for eight), or November (which I didn’t...

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Blog #17: This Sterile Promontory

[expurgated]   #  #  #  #   —Mishka Zakharin  © 2015    

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